rational disorder

The Knight of Wands aka Robbye

2010-02-20T08:01:00.000-08:00

Tarot Card - The Knight of Wands represents the volatile and changeable nature of the element of fire. She calls on you to invoke the fire within. Where is your sense of adventure? Perhaps you lost it somewhere along the way? It is time to find it again. The world is full of new experiences, places to see and people to meet. Now you need to stretch and challenge yourself; you are on the threshold of exciting times. The Knight heralds a time of action, perhaps a sudden journey or a change of residence.
She is an extrovert, brimming with restless energy. She loves a challenge and is virtually fearless, thriving on the stimulation of danger and risk. The Knight is intelligent, witty, charming and humorous. Her ideals are very high, she is a philosopher and a seeker after truth, she is incapable of lying, She hates any kind of unfairness or oppression and is often something of a rebel. The Knight is a warm, generous, lovable character who makes a wise and loyal friend, though her temper is quick to flare up if she thinks anyone is abusing her generosity. Her temper is short-lived, however, and you would have to do something pretty bad or unjust to make an enemy of her, but if you do she is formidable. Be warned that the Knight of Wands is a free spirit and hates to be tied down. Romantically, she needs the constant stimulation of new experiences, new horizons, and new ideas--settling down does not appeal to her.

Books Rock

2008-07-31T10:22:00.000-07:00

I didn't read much for a long time but the last few months I've been reading again and enjoying myself immensely. Here are some of the books I especially enjoyed...just cuz.

Kitchen Confidential: A hilarious and thought provoking book. Parts are Hunter Thompsonesque...other parts just make you hungry. Bourdain's love of food will make you want to follow him around snatching his left-overs - or learn how to cook yourself.

Of Human Bondage: A very real book that's basically a slightly fictional autobiography. Maugham talks about love in ways that I've never heard from anyone else but that make a lot of sense. He talks about how every love between two people has an inherent inequality - one of them must love more. I've noticed that only people who are very lucky escape this trap.

The Time Traveler's Wife: Science fiction that doesn't at all feel like science fiction. It feels very real, very affecting and seems very much like part of my life. A strange and wonderful love story.

Into The Wild: I took awhile to get into this book but I loved it once I did. It looks at the questions of freedom and escape in modern society. After reading this I wanted to just take off on my bike and see where I went for a couple months.

Are You Alive or Do You Just Walk Like a Human?

2008-07-11T08:12:00.000-07:00

I saw these answers to an online questionaire recently. And I had to respond.

> What genres of Music do you like? All kinds

[Well, evidently not. See below.]

> What genres of Music do you dislike? Rap, Hard Rock, Punk

[Ah, I see, so any music that has energy and spirit aside from perhaps, gospel.]

> Favorite Movie(s)? The mummy series

[I don't even know what to say. I'd like to sit this person down, prop open her eyes with toothpicks and force her to watch REAL movies until she changes her mind.]

> What Genre of Movies do you like? Sci-fi, suspense, action, romance

[Safe enough.]

> What Genre of Movies do you dislike? Horror

[I'm not a huge horror fan either...hey we almost agree on something!]

> Favorite Restaurant? To name a few: Olive Garden, Don Pablo's, Apple Bees

[You have never lived. Plus you can't even spell the name of your favorite *shudder* "restaurant": Applebees.]

> Favorite type of food? Italian, Mexican, American

[I would hazard a guess that she's never had actual Italian or Mexican food. I wonder what she considers "American" food? Soul food perhaps? Ha!]

> Favorite activities? Church

[Better than sex? You NEED to get out more.]

> Craziest thing you have ever done? Went on the ejection seat at the state fair.

[You have truly never lived.]

Summer Camp Blues

2008-07-02T09:46:00.000-07:00

Dropped Arden off at her first time at summer camp. I was kind of nervous. I told her "Pick out some girl who's small and doesn't have a lot of friends. Then beat the bejeezus out of her. That'll get you a rep and noone will mess with you." Then I realized that was advice for prison, not summer camp. Oops.
Then I was wondering if Johnny Cash ever lead a sing-along at Camp Ajawah: "The guards, er counselors, told me not to sing this song. But I'm singin' it anyway!" *cheers*
She said "Daaaa-ad quit embarrassing me." But then she does that no matter what I do. No matter if I burp, fart, pick my nose, get drunk and start screaming Nightranger lyrics or try to explain the difference between XPath XML and SQL database queries. Everything gets the same response "Daa-aaad."
She left her cell phone at home thinking she wouldn't get reception. Turns out my iPhone got five bars at the camp but it's for the best. Still, to make her feel better I wrote her a letter that said: "OMG! WsUp? Hws c&? LOL! L8r <3"

Why I Love My Neighborhood

2008-06-07T11:08:00.000-07:00

This morning I was out weeding and planting morning glorys when a woman across the street was coming home from work. Somebody yells from down the block: "He Rita, come talk!"
She yells back: "Ok, but give me awhile, I'm tired and hungry and I think I might be knocked up!"

Is Your Neighborhood Boring?

2007-08-01T10:42:00.000-07:00

Here's a cool way to find out how interesting your neighborhood is:

http://www.walkscore.com

My house scored a 75.

You can also see the score for famous places...like Bill Gates' house or the Six Feet Under house.

My New Favorite Photographer

2007-03-28T15:11:00.000-07:00

I don't know what it is about this woman. Her pictures are so innocent yet interesting. They're full of affection yet detached. Beautiful but not postcardish. I'd love to see an exhibit of her stuff.

Rinko Kawauchi

Abandoned Places

2007-02-20T10:47:00.000-08:00

I've always been fascinated by abandoned houses and barns. I love to think about the people who lived there. Once I went to a house I had lived in and it was abandoned. Some of our stuff was still there that we'd forgotten 20 years earlier. There was a bird skeleton in my old bedroom. The buildings at this sight don't have the same personal feeling as an abandoned house but they certainly make up for that with scale.

http://www.abandoned.ru/index.php

Drunken DDR

2006-12-11T22:29:00.000-08:00

So the other night I found myself downtown. Too drunk to drive home and bored. So I headed into the Gameworks and started playing Dance Dance Revolution. I was awful. Even more awful than usual but it was kind of fun anyway. Soon I was pouring sweat. This guy comes up and says "You're great!" And I look at him and say "What are you talking about? I can hardly stand!" And he says "Yeah, but dude, you're sweating. That's cool!" I laughed and thanked him.

LDOE Day

2006-11-21T09:28:00.000-08:00

You know how people say live every day as if it were your last? That's stupid...if people did that everyone would be running around screaming, stuffing their faces with drugs and shooting at anybody who annoyed them. Every day. But every once in awhile you should pick a day and live it as if it were your last chance to live that day.

If I was king there'd be a government agency that picks those days for you, randomly. Every five or ten years you'd get a notice in the mail:

Next Oct 21 is your own private LDOE (Last Day On Earth) day. Everything is all right. It's not really your last day on Earth (though that should not be taken as a legal guarantee). Please go crazy and do all the things you've always wanted to do. The following laws will not apply to you for the day...(drug enforcement, public drinking, public nudity [except in school zones], etc) The following laws will be extended or modified in the following ways...(speed limits upped [except in school zones], etc) The following laws still apply...(any violent crimes, etc)

Take the day off from work. The LDOE Agency will cover your salary and hire a replacement to cover your shift if needed. The Agency will also provide a nanny for the day if desired. The following incurred expenses are covered: food (up to $500), skydiving lessons, bike rental, motorcycle or car rental...etc. All museums and amusement parks are free to you. Just use the included LDOE Visa Card which will be active only on Oct 21.

You can of course go to work if you want to. In fact go to work and goof off for awhile. Wearing nothing but a clown wig. It's your day. Just keep in mind that while you can't be fired for anything you do on that day you still have to work with those people.

Contact the Agency at the following number 1-800-last-day if you have any questions or if you want to be included in one of the LDOE group activities.

And be sure to tell everyone you care about how you feel. Even if they might already know it's good to be reminded.

Enjoy!
King Brady

Some Interesting Fractal Pics

2006-11-16T10:13:00.000-08:00

It's not really the shapes that I find interesting here but the way the shapes are filled in and colored:
http://content.techrepublic.com.com/2346-10878_11-33277-37.html

Artistic Questions

2006-11-14T21:43:00.000-08:00

Here are the answers to five questions I came up with answered by Remi Viger, an artist from Brooklyn, MI...

Bruno Bruno Bruno

2006-11-12T13:02:00.001-08:00

One of my favorite works of fiction can be seen here.

Beatiful art, beautiful words, interesting words, many words, wonderful characters, sweetness, empathy, pain and so much life.

And now there's me (or a rather square-jawed version of me) with Bruno. (Does Bruno look a bit drunk?)

Thanks Christopher, I can't stop smiling everytime I look at this.

6 Feet

2006-09-16T00:31:00.000-07:00

I was watching the last dvd of 6 Feet Under tonigyt and James Cromwell said something profound: "Our denial of death is our denial of everything Spritual." Or something like that. I'm not a guy who goes for "deep" stuff. I like being thoughtful...but not deep in a Hallmark sense.

running and laughing

2006-09-09T06:45:00.000-07:00

I ran a mile yesterday with Arden riding her bike and yelling engouragement at me. That was fun. When I crossed the "finish line" a woman walking nearby with a man cheered for me. I laughed through my panting. I beat my best time by 4 seconds 5:57. I want to do at least 5:30. I wonder if I should continue running the mile or if I should run longer distances to train? Hmmm...

"Could birds fly if there wasn't someone, somewhere, laughing?" - from Extremely Load and Incredibly Close

grip of song

2006-09-05T21:10:00.000-07:00

I feel lonely tonight. And even those words mean so many things to so many people. Words are weird. Heh.

I found some lines from an old poem of mine that might be good. MIGHT be good:

held in the grip of song
like a flower
in the grip
of a photograph

It's a little Leonard Cohenish...

It's fun to be inspired by things you yourself created. I look back at some of the things I wrote in the late 90s and early 00s and sometimes I'm pretty impressed. It doesn't seem at all like me who wrote them. I wonder why?

Nate Fisher 1965-2005

2006-09-02T00:18:00.000-07:00

I watched the end of Six Feet Under today. And it's funny that after everythng I tasted salt. They played Kurt Cobain singing "All in all is all we are" over and over and over... They had Nate say "Kurt was too pure for this world." And I laughed. I mean come on. But it was beautiful. And I wished I could talk to Devlan about it...she'd see how sweet and silly and sad it is. And I thought about how I still don't understand life. Or what I want from it. I could hold the face of everyone who's ever wanted to dance and whisper to them...you are wonderful. Or I could sing "If you're lost you can look and you will find me" and I'd feel like an idiot. But life is fucked up and beautiful...

kisses and running

2006-08-19T23:12:00.000-07:00

While watching Me and You and Everyone We Know I experienced a kiss that I wanted to last all the way to the end of the block.

Tonight Arden and I watched Running Brave about the (half) Native American who won the 10,000 meter race in the 1964 Olympics. At the end I cheered out loud and cried with happiness. Why the hell am I so drawn to sports movies like this (and Breaking Away) when I'm not really interested in sports? (I mean I've always loved biking and tennis and running and table tennis and martial arts and so forth but...ok, maybe in a way I do love sports, just not football or baseball or basketball.)

Maybe what I really truly love is the underdog movie.

2006-08-14T10:41:00.000-07:00

This quote from The Writer's Chapbook: A Compendium of Fact, Opinion, Wit, and Advice from the Twentieth Century's Preeminent Writers really explained some things to me about Hemingway's writing.

"I always try to write on the principle of the iceberg. There is seven-eighths of it under water for every part that shows."
--Ernest Hemingway

So when

My new friend Valerie (aka Valcon)

2006-08-12T14:16:00.000-07:00

a cartoon

2006-08-11T15:14:00.000-07:00

A man is talking to an angel at the gates of heaven. The angel says to him: "Oh my no. That's not a sin either. You poor thing you must have been worried sick."

a poem that I wrote a few years ago

2006-08-11T14:44:00.000-07:00

I wrote this in response to a poem I read about dogs, children and Shakespeare. I kinda like this. I'm a little surprised I wrote it.

children understand
what it is to eat
and animals understand
what it is to desire
they think they
only do these things
through instinct
but they are wrong
children laugh
in their sleep
when they think they
love something
and animals
seek comfort because
they are both acting
within and struggling against
their nature
at the same time

Hello

2006-08-06T09:18:00.000-07:00

I've had blogs in other places but I lost track of them and anyway they weren't really me. This is me.

I've had hard times lately. But I feel creativity flowing in me again. I want to work on projects again. I want to work on myself again. It's good.

I'm scared. But I'm confident. There you go.

This blog gets its name from the following quote:

The poet makes himself a seer by a long, prodigous, rational disordering of all the senses. Every form of love, of suffering, of madness; he searches himself, he consumes all the poisions in him, and keeps only their qunitessences.
-Arthur Rimbaud