6 Feet

I was watching the last dvd of 6 Feet Under tonigyt and James Cromwell said something profound: "Our denial of death is our denial of everything Spritual." Or something like that. I'm not a guy who goes for "deep" stuff. I like being thoughtful...but not deep in a Hallmark sense.

running and laughing

I ran a mile yesterday with Arden riding her bike and yelling engouragement at me. That was fun. When I crossed the "finish line" a woman walking nearby with a man cheered for me. I laughed through my panting. I beat my best time by 4 seconds 5:57. I want to do at least 5:30. I wonder if I should continue running the mile or if I should run longer distances to train? Hmmm...

"Could birds fly if there wasn't someone, somewhere, laughing?" - from Extremely Load and Incredibly Close

grip of song

I feel lonely tonight. And even those words mean so many things to so many people. Words are weird. Heh.

I found some lines from an old poem of mine that might be good. MIGHT be good:

held in the grip of song
like a flower
in the grip
of a photograph

It's a little Leonard Cohenish...

It's fun to be inspired by things you yourself created. I look back at some of the things I wrote in the late 90s and early 00s and sometimes I'm pretty impressed. It doesn't seem at all like me who wrote them. I wonder why?

Nate Fisher 1965-2005

I watched the end of Six Feet Under today. And it's funny that after everythng I tasted salt. They played Kurt Cobain singing "All in all is all we are" over and over and over... They had Nate say "Kurt was too pure for this world." And I laughed. I mean come on. But it was beautiful. And I wished I could talk to Devlan about it...she'd see how sweet and silly and sad it is. And I thought about how I still don't understand life. Or what I want from it. I could hold the face of everyone who's ever wanted to dance and whisper to them...you are wonderful. Or I could sing "If you're lost you can look and you will find me" and I'd feel like an idiot. But life is fucked up and beautiful...